A great line (in context, anyway) from a superb movie from one of the greatest directors.
The subject, of course, is sunglasses. (A corn-cob pipe wouldn't have the plural form.)
Clearly, anyone who works in the sun (or drives a car regularly) should have a good pair of sunglasses. For those not satisfied with owning a good pair of shades, there is provided below a set of guidelines for sunspec selection.
Robert's Rules of Sun-Appropriate Eyewear
not by Robert
1. No “wrap-around” frames of any kind.
You want to retain some semblance of peripheral vision.
2. Color: Brown.
Find a pair as close in color to that perfect cup of coffee as possible. This reduces eye strain/fatigue, increases contrast, and nearly eliminates glare. Plus they look cool.
3. Style: MacArthur, Kojak, or those worthy of the 'Aviator' mark. Metal frames are a must.
Maybe get a slightly smaller version of Kojak's beakers, though. You want people to think you look totally cool--you just don't want them to think you want them to think you look totally cool.
4. For the fisherman: Polarized.
Reflected light is generally polarized by the surface it bounces off of. The special layer in glasses with this mark will screen that polarized light out so you see light coming from below, instead of at, the water's surface. See the fish, read the fish, catch the fish. Be sure to remind the kids that you have "x-ray" goggles.
Another note: That layer on the outside of the lens will eventually rub off inside the pair's case. If you care way too much about your sunglasses, you can spend some extra Cs to get this layer manufactured inside the lens itself for durability.
5. No one should see your eyes.
Come on, we all do it. We're sitting in the car, waiting for everybody in front of us to finally clear the four-way stop, and we let our eyes wander underneath their shield. I see you, you don't see that I see you. Feel like a kid feeling like a spy again. Another note: This one can be hard to find in combination with No. 2. Keep looking, though.
And really, for those of us not rich or actually pilots (where all of this truly does matter as much as some of us think it does), the final rule is the price tag: Please be under twenty bucks!
Or maybe I'm just cheap. . .