Sunday, December 25, 2005

Greed ‘05: The Red Ink

This is a list of stuff I didn’t get that I should have gotten for Christmas this year. It is meant to serve primarily as a place to gripe and a beacon to help the world do better next time.
This, of course, is only a partial list as I, being a self-centered fool (i.e. human being) feel deeply that I should have whatever in the world strikes my fancy. Like I said, get with the program, world.

The perfect sunglasses - Why nobody thinks of this? Ah, well, so I have to do with my current pair. That pair, by the way, is perfect in every respect but it’s lack of high-contrast brown lenses. Also, it’s not like I couldn’t use two pair: one for each car.

Polka CD - What?? Nobody wants to hear this stuff or summin’?!

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy—Primary Phase [1978] - The radio series, that is. O.K., this one can be attributed to low availability. Remember to throw in the Secondary Phase next time, as penance for your slothfulness in getting this to me.

Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! [1985] - Come on, a collection of memoir-ettes from the only man to view the first A-bomb’s explosion without the restriction of supplied eye-protection? Who doesn’t want to read that? Not to mention that he was one of the most brilliant physicists in history. Or that he had a fantastic (downright dangerous) sense of humor.

PlusDeck - I’m gonna assume this one never showed up because of it’s large price tag. But how am I supposed to get by in the modern world without a cassette deck built into my PC? Get it together, people! Form a non-profit and accept deductible donations for my gift list or something benevolent like that.

Machete - “You’ll cut your eye out, kid.” I beg to differ, heartless department-store Santa.

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