Actual text messages regarding a student's second look at academic suspension in a small private liberal arts university, sent 13 days before final exams in the fall semester.
From: So yeah, i have to magically pull 2 a's and 2b's out of my ass to even HOPE to stay now...
To: Shoulda started workin' on that ass pullin' long ago. Nothing magical about it.
Having now lost his appeal for probation, perhaps he should be referred to this song.